The Past
Growing up, I always believed love meant accepting criticism. Rovan, my partner, seemed to have an endless commentary about my appearance. Every outfit, every hairstyle became a potential target. When I wore my favorite crop top, he'd make comments about my body. 'You might want to cover up,' he'd say, his tone casual but loaded with judgment.
At first, I thought it was concern. Constructive feedback, perhaps. But slowly, his words became a constant drumbeat of negativity. My hair was too messy when down. My makeup was too much. My body wasn't quite right. Each comment chipped away at my confidence, like water eroding stone.
The Turning Point
The moment of clarity came unexpectedly. During a quiet evening, I caught my reflection and realized I didn't recognize myself anymore. Not physically - but internally. I had allowed someone else's perception to rewrite my narrative. My vibrant spirit had been dimmed, replaced by constant self-doubt.
Something shifted inside me. Quietly. Powerfully. I understood that love should elevate, not diminish. True partnership means celebrating each other's uniqueness, not critiquing it into submission.
Looking Back Now
Distance brought perspective. I realized Rovan's comments said more about his insecurities than my worth. His criticisms were a reflection of his own unresolved issues, not my value as a person. I was healthy. Strong. Beautiful in my own unique way.
The journey of reclaiming myself wasn't overnight. It required therapy, supportive friends, and a commitment to rebuilding my self-esteem. Slowly, I learned that my body was not a project to be managed, but a home to be cherished.
The Lesson
Criticism disguised as love is not love at all. Our worth is not determined by someone else's narrow perspective. We are complex, beautiful beings deserving of respect, admiration, and unconditional acceptance.
The most profound relationship we'll ever have is with ourselves. Everything else follows from that foundation.